Mermaid Murder Mystery #BlogBattle #surfer #fantasy #shortfiction

Blog Battle 13: “Surfer” Fantasy

I’m totally cheating on this, guys. Sorry. I’m taking a surfer story I wrote last year and changing it to fit the genre. I always meant to do something more with this, but I never got around to it.  Let’s try again, shall we?

Waves crash, whooshing outward in the ebbing flow of an angry assault.

Beauty and rhythmic lulling,

Constant motion inspires me to forget the intrinsic danger.

The sea calls me back.

But I refuse; I deny its power over me.

* * *

“Yo, brah!”

He stopped dead in his tracks, rolling his eyes to the sky. Brodie. The surfer was like a bad penny. Stern spun on one foot and faced the bronzed, sun-bleached blonde beach bum.

“It’s Detective, brah.”

“Detective Brah, I was just out catching a few with Steelhead McGee before the rays hit, but that last surf was mushy, and I decided to jet. It was Steelhead that saw her first, ’cause he’s an old carp. Says he only craves the waves,” Brodie said with a grin, his rock hard surfer abs vibrating with laughter.

Detective Stern cocked one eyebrow. He couldn’t remember how he’d thought having the beach beat would be the prime policing territory. He’d been called to the beach twenty times in the last eighteen months to investigate deaths related to drowning. Two had proven to be homicide by one means or another, but most had been accidental death. One more bloated body floating on to the popular and crowded San Daniella shores was not his cup of tea. He should have listened to his mother and studied acupuncture.

Brodie was still rambling when Stern tuned back in.

“The waves were righteous at dawn, brah, but it was colder than usual after that storm last night. I left Steelhead on the edge, and that’s when he yelled about the body. And, brah, what a body!”

Stern frowned. He’d just arrived on scene and hadn’t made it to where they’d cordoned off the beach. He was glad the tide was going out when they found it, because at the rate Brodie was yammering Stern wouldn’t make it to the body before the tide turned.

“Listen, Brodie, this officer here,” he motioned over a young man in standard blues, “Officer . . . Kiplicky–Kiplicky? Really?” Stern looked sideways at him, but the kid officer just shrugged. “Okayyy. Officer Kiplicky is going to ask you a few questions.”

“Later, brah.” Brodie waved the shaka, a hang loose hand gesture that was common along the beaches of California.

Detective Stern nodded and walked away, taking a relieved breath. He only felt a little sorry for sticking Officer Kiplicky with the task of taking down the talkative surfer’s statement. Stern made the mistake one too many times to do it again.

It seemed ironic that Brodie, the epitome of the stereotypical dumb blonde, always seemed to be around to discover these wash ups. He was a literal beach bum and spent all his time riding waves or repairing boards to pay for his surfer habit of . . . riding waves. As far as Stern could tell, without doing some digging on him, Brodie was a straight shooter, wasn’t a user, and just lived to surf.

Another thing Detective Stern hated about the beach cases was the sand that got in every nook and cranny of his body and clothes. By the time they were done gathering evidence and viewing the scene his feet had received an in-shoe pedicure and his other more sensitive regions were begging for a bath.

“We’ve got a mermaid here, boss,” Junior Detective Penn said, dusting the sticky, wet sand off his rubber gloves.

“Mermaid?” Stern asked and leaned to snag a peek at the body behind the other man.

The coroner walked up next to Stern, her head barely reaching his shoulder. She stepped around and squatted down.

“Is this a joke? Was she crazy?” Stern asked.

The coroner glanced up at him from her stooped position as he moved closer. “No, Tim, not a joke and not crazy.” She stood up without turning around. “But maybe I am.”


“That’s not a costume,” Dr. Nina Lean said and squatted down again.

“What do you mean, it’s not a costume?”

“It’s. Not. A. Costume.”

“How could it not be costume? She’s got a friggin’ tail!”

“I’m with you, boss,” Penn said, snapping a picture of the dead mermaid with his phone.

Stern swiped the phone out of his hand and deleted the picture, giving Penn a withering look.

Nina pointed at the entanglement of fishing twine around the young fish-woman’s neck and shoulders. “It doesn’t look like this is accidental, Tim, so I’m calling it a homicide, but I won’t be able to tell you what cause of death is until we get her back to my office.” With a tone of awe, she said, “We have to get her back to my office.”

“Is this really happening? Or am I dreaming?” Stern asked, completely ignored by the others.

“There’s no injury that I can see right off that would have done it, though this petechial hemorrhaging might indicate strangulation or drowning. Can mermaids drown?” She stopped and  stared wide-eyed at Stern. “I can’t believe I just asked that question. Is this really happening?” Nina refocused on the body and gently touched the netting. “There’s no apparent bruising, though I’m sure under the right light we’ll see some, if not from attack then from being beaten about by the waves.”

“Alright, Nina, get her bagged,” he said and turned his attention to Detective Penn. “Keep everyone back unless they’re essential. I hate to think what kind of story the press will cook up when they catch wind of this . . . this whatever it is.”


“Has anyone checked the upper beach for evidence?” He hated training new detectives because it meant asking a thousand questions.

“Uh, yeah, but there wasn’t anything up there that  looked out of the ordinary.”

“Considering the mermaid here, what constitutes out of the ordinary? Expand the search southward, before the wind or tide takes away any possible evidence. The water moves things north as it hits the beach.”

“I-uh . . . dang. Sorry. I’ll get right on that,” Penn said and dashed off toward the van to call for extra help.

Nina walked over to her case that an officer dropped ten feet back and rummaged for a body bag. While she was busy, Stern shifted his gaze to the roiling ocean waves and considered the reality before him. If this wasn’t someone’s sick idea of a joke, maybe that meant legends like Atlantis were real too. It might be time for a career change.

Click here to check out this week’s Blog Battle listing for more SURFER fantasy stories!

17 responses to “Mermaid Murder Mystery #BlogBattle #surfer #fantasy #shortfiction”

  1. Hey, Rachael–thanks for the kind words. And I love your story. I think fantasy that deals with the sea is an underutilized part of our genre. I’ve been working on some selkie tales myself. And a kelpie novelette. You could easily expand this one into a novelette if you were so minded.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks Cathleen. I was thinking it would make a great story to continue. And I agree. The sea is neglected in fantasy. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love what you did with this, I hadn’t read it before but as usual with these stories there’s more to come ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It certainly feels that way. I don’t think I’ve learned to write a true piece of short fiction. But maybe it’s more like episodes anyway. Life sometimes feels like a bunch of episodes… ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks, Simon!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Life and stories are a bunch of episodes or short stories… ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I still think this could make for a great mystery series!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, E. I’ll keep thinking on it, since I like where it’s going, real crime drama or fantasy crime drama. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Great story, Rachel. I love how natural the dialog flows, and good surfer details. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, D. ๐Ÿ™‚ I did some basic surfer lingo research but didn’t want to overdo! Kind of you to drop in and read! Much appreciated. I loved Cathleen’s review of your book, and definitely must put it on my MUST read list. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sometimes those few little details make the story real. I could have sworn you were a surfer. Ha ha. Cathleen has amazing energy and is full of great ideas and determination. I wish I could keep up with her! Thanks so much for the kind comment on the book ๐Ÿ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Too right. And somewhere in the depths of my colorful psyche I think I must be a surfer. haha I agree about Cathleen, too. She’s such an industrious, sweet person!

          Liked by 1 person

  5. I love this one! “Detective Brah,” ha! Good pacing. Snappy and believable dialogue that really brings out character.It stands alone just fine, but it sure feels like the beginning of something longer. Is it? (Hoping.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Carl. ๐Ÿ™‚ It was fun to write. Originally, it was just a straight up crime fic, but I guess I’ve got fantasy ingrained in my brain now. lol I also thought to keep going with it when I started it last year, but I never got back to it. Then when the word surfer came up, since I didn’t use it for blog battle last year, I thought I could adapt it this time. Worked out ok, but I liked your story better! ๐Ÿ™‚ You know who I’m voting for.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Nice blend of humour and mystery! Junior officers/detectives always have it tough. And acupuncture? Hah!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Spaceman. ๐Ÿ™‚ There’s a lot of merit to this whole acupuncture business, I think. haha

      Liked by 1 person

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