Mad Mona #BlogBattle Week 8: Madness

This week #BlogBattle Week 8 Theme: Madness

Next Week’s Theme: Bun 😉 Click here to find out how to join in!


Mad Mona, Her Majesty of Madonia

No one likes a complainer. Not even me. But today I feel like complaining. I can’t take much more of this! Her Majesty is off her rocker, and somehow I got stuck keeping her out of trouble. What a joke!

“Your Highness, I don’t think this is the best plan.” I hear the whine in my voice, but after six hours of corralling a queen, I think it’s allowable.

“Nonsense, Doyle. This is the best plan I’ve had all day. Now do hold my skirt back right there.” Her matter-of-fact tone hides the madness within. “No, no, you nincompoop. Hold it up and back. I cannot see my feet upon this skinny board. You can run, can’t you, Doyle?”

Her helmet looks askew, but she doesn’t seem to care. I care. If she dies of a brain injury, I’ll be the one they blame. Mine is on as tight as possible. I think I might have cut off all circulation to my brain. Maybe I’m going just as mad as Her Majesty.

“Doyle, wake up!” she cries in exasperated insanity.

“Sorry, Your Majesty. I’m not as fast as I used to be, but since my life depends on it as much as yours, I’ll be quick-footed.”

Her Cheshire Cat grin is more than I can bear. Maybe dying in the chase will be better for me than going insane. The queen’s cackle of a laugh is the only indication her madness runs deeper than a skateboard ride down the main garden’s sloping path.

“Give us a push, Doyle.”

“Highness, may I just suggest–“

“No, Doyle, you may not suggest. Now, push,” she says, emphasizing the last word with a squinty glare.

My sigh can be heard a mile away, but there’s nothing for it. I’m bound to obey. If not, my head will roll down this hill all by itself.  I’m resigned to the inevitable fate of death later, but not right now, so I give her a push and chase the mad majesty down the hill. I almost keep up with her, but I lag behind.

She’s definitely gone crazy, but watching her pull away from me because I can’t keep up, I’m too old, I’m actually impressed by her stability on that rickety thing called a skateboard. Who knew?

My lungs are done and my hands like resting on my knees better than flapping in the breeze, so I stop and watch Mad Mona, Her Majesty of Madonia, glide down the walk as though she’d done this a thousand times before.

“Your Highness,” I call out too late.

SPLASH!

Oh dear, I think, now I’ve done it. We didn’t think of brakes, but at least the fountain was there to stop her. I’m actually trying to cover a laugh now. Nothing is funnier than a mad monarch with her skirts about her ears, sopping wet in a pond, complete with a lily pad hat to finish the look.

At least it seems we’ll both live to see another crazy day!


Click here for more from Mad Mona in Mad Mona’s Monkey Business

2015 Copyright Rachael Ritchey, All Rights Reserved

30 responses to “Mad Mona #BlogBattle Week 8: Madness”

  1. […] Click here for a previous Mad Mona, Monarch of Madonia story. […]

    Like

  2. On topic: Still love this story, would love to see more of them!
    Off topic: I nominated you for the Liebster Award! If you choose to accept, see here: http://hehasplans.com/blog/liebster-award/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’d be inclined to enjoy more of Mad Mona & Doyle, too. 🙂 THANK YOU for the nomination! So sweet. 😀 THANKs!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. 🙂 this was one of those stories that you just have to read on an easy, beautiful day. It draws you in, keeps your attention, but it doesn’t way you down. The treat of it is that you come away with a smile. Loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ah! Then goal accomplished! Lighthearted and amusing. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. if more people complained like this, they would probably find the rest of us a lot more receptive 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha you may be right. Doyle is one heckofaguy! I’m sure that’s why he got sick minding the mad monarch. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. it’s probably why he got the job in the first place.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Good point. We need more Doyles. 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  5. phoenixgrey85 Avatar
    phoenixgrey85

    Hehe! Mad Mona of Madonia – wonderful. This week’s theme is bringing out some wonderful tales, and yours is no exception. The image of the poor queen with her skirts about her ears made me laugh. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha The best part is I don’t think she was even that upset about it. 🙂 Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Great story IBFF! Loved it

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I should have described her hair more…wiry and gray, protruding from her helmet like a halo of fluff. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You did well, a potential winner me thinks 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. awww, thanks. If nothing else, I fell in love with my crazy queen and….Doyle. hehehe

          Liked by 1 person

          1. We all love a crazy queen!

            Liked by 1 person

            1. Do you wish you had a real live crazy one?

              Liked by 1 person

            2. Yes don’t we all?

              Liked by 1 person

            3. Um, yeah, although, if things keep going the way they do over here, we’ll have a crazy, lying woman for president. ooooo…did I say that out loud? *looks around for suspicious characters who may or may not want to silence me*

              Liked by 1 person

  7. Mad Mona of Madonia = best name ever! 😀 Love it! Her and Doyle make a fun and funny team. A monarch on a skateboard, lol, I had fun picturing that. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Picture a sweet, loony, grandma monarch on a skateboard and it’s that much better! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lol XD Fantastic! I want to be that when I’m old! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  8. This is a charming and light-hearted read. The reel in my head had this as an adult cartoon. I see the characters so clearly. Engaging and innovative. ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha, that’s fantastic Tess. In my mind they were a couple of people a tad bit past mid-life. 🙂

      Like

      1. But so colorful. ❤ ❤ ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  9. I love this! I love the poetic roll of your words! She might be mad but she sounds like the good, fun, kind of mad! Poor Doyle~ :3 He seems lovable tho!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, that is exactly my thought. Doyle is rather endearing in my head. 🙂 He’s almost as old as the queen and both are not so young. ha! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Please leave a comment, question, or idea! I’d love to chat!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

%d bloggers like this: