Log Lines, What a Chore!

Posted on by Rachael Ritchey

The Beauty Thief NEW web cover 3So, I’ve written a screenplay for The Beauty Thief, y’all!

And in honor of this new format for my beloved tale of love, chivalry, adventure and devotion, I have decided to once again tackle the log line for the story!

I have three here that I’d love your input on.

OR if you’re as daring as my prince, you might want to try your hand at making one of these even better.

OR maybe you have read The Beauty Thief and you have an idea for a great log line?

Oh my! The journey is always a thrill. Thanks for taking it with me.

  1. When a radiant princess’s beauty is stolen by an ancient thief, her betrothed, a daring and valorous prince, must choose to risk life and kingdom to break the curse before her fate is sealed forever.
  2. A virtuous princess’s beauty is stolen by an ancient thief on the eve of her wedding to the daring high prince who will risk life and kingdom to break the curse before her fate is sealed.
  3. A daring prince faces every obstacle and trial imaginable, risking [everything] to rescue his innocent bride’s pure heart from an ancient thief whose obsession with eternal life has grown insatiable.  (in place of “everything” could also go “…life and kingdom,”)
Dare I mention which is my favorite? I just know that as a writer, when I’m open to feedback and criticism I can be so much better.

 

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23 thoughts on “Log Lines, What a Chore!”

  2. I actually like Darleen’s suggestion of beginning by talking about the ancient evil beauty thief. It’s intense and grabs attention right away, which is what you want in order to hook a reader. From there it can lead into Caitlyn and her predicament.
    I know a lot of people suggested #3, but the Beauty Thief focuses on Caitlyn and her character growth. She is the star of the book and I loved her for it. But 3 makes it feel like the story is about the prince rescuing her.
    These are just my thoughts, though. I hope it’s of some help. Log lines are such a pain to write sometimes! 🙂

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        1. too true. And that certain amount of freetime has my preteen son throwing a toddler fit in his room right now because he has to read a book chapter, write 2-3 sentences about the chapter and do one small chore to earn an hour of videogame time. Seriously, you’d think we asked him to build a rocket…

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  5. How about this: An ancient thief, obsessed with eternal life, steals the beauty of a virtuous princess on the eve of her wedding to the daring high prince who risks life and kingdom to break the curse before her fate is sealed. or

    Obsessed with eternal life, an ancient thief steals the beauty of a virtuous princess on the eve of her wedding to the daring high prince who risks life and kingdom to break the curse before her fate is sealed.

    Just a couple of suggestions!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Love them both Darlene. It’s so hard to know what’s going to be the most exciting and interesting. Do you think the mentioning the antagonist before either protagonist is a better way to go? I mean, the plot does center around what he has done, so I have leaned that way too, it’s just not something I’ve seen very much of in log lines, so I’m curious!

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